Well here it is – the long awaited “Part 2” to The Seven Deadly Sins of Wedding Guests. If you missed “Part 1″, get caught up by clicking here:
5.) Keep Your Opinions To Yourself
Yes, I know. Your grilled chicken breast was served with pesto and we know how much you hate pesto. So much so that you feel it’s your place to immediately inform the newly married couple about your displeasure over dinner. And we know that you have every right to do that. Oh wait, you don’t! You don’t have any right to do so. In fact, in your doing so, you have shown yourself to be the horses behind that you truly are. I implore you to keep your opinions to yourself during (and most likely after)the wedding that you were invited to – where someone else paid their hard earned money for you to eat, drink, dance, and be merry. You do not need to share with the couple, or their parents, how you personally feel about the wedding, other than to thank them and tell them what a wonderful time you’ve had.
You would not believe the countless times I have overheard Aunt Susie tell the bride how much better it would have been if only it had been an indoor wedding, Uncle Steve tell the grooms dad who they should have invited instead, or a well-meaning friend compare the bride’s venue choice to one of their recently married friends (or her own upcoming wedding)! It’s saddening to watch this play out.
And women are the worst at this! The worst! When it comes to a wedding, some women feel it is their personal duty to inform the bride of every error she has made in choices for the wedding. Over time I have come to believe that it is primarily jealousy that fuels this rudeness. You should refrain, at all times, from expressing your opinion on their choice of venue, food, dj, flowers, décor, family members, choice of invitees, and so on. Though well intended, they will not be well received. The couple should not have to hear about anything other than how great their wedding was. Period. The end.
This is not Saturday night at the Hootchie Club. This is a wedding. You should dress appropriately. Some points to note:
• Please refrain from wearing white – which would seem obvious but it apparently needs to be said. Just don’t do it – unless the invite asks you to do so.
• If you can’t bend over to pick something up without showing off your smiling cheeks (yes, those cheeks), change your clothes.
• If you can’t breathe when you sit down, your dress is too tight. Change your clothes.
• If there are a pair of, uh hmmm, “headlights” that can be easily identified by others, change your clothes. Where do you think you are? Again, you’re at a wedding!
• If you know the colors of the wedding, it’s always acceptable to wear a complementary color. You’ll look great in pics and the bride will love that you cared enough to do so.
• Guys – unless it’s a country style or relaxed type of wedding, please wear a suit, or some semblance of one. Can’t help yourself? Try a new pair of dark colored jeans with a button down shirt, tie, and suit jacket. Yes, I’m aware that you may just die if you have to put on a suit (or tie), but at least you’ll be dressed for the funeral if you do. Besides, even if you don’t think so, you look great in a suit and us chicks dig it.
• Children, if attending the wedding, should be dressed nicely as well. No t-shirts. Cute dresses for the girls and a nice dress shirt and pants for the boys.
If while reading this you’re thinking that I have gone overboard on telling people how to dress then I applaud you. Clearly this is not directed at you. You are a mature individual capable of dressing yourself for a wedding. But you probably haven’t been to as many weddings as I have. Trust me – this all needed to be said.
At the weddings that we plan we always make it a point to serve the bride and groom first – and as quickly as possible. But as much as we try we cannot protect them from the onslaught of well-wishers that want to have a conversation with them – as they’re attempting to have 30 seconds of peace and eat their meal. I am not by any means telling you that you should not chat with the happy couple during their wedding. Of course you should! That’s what this day is all about – wishing them well and sharing their happiness. But I implore you to allow them a moment to eat. Please. Pretty please. By the time most couples get to the end of their wedding day they are exhausted and hungry. They really need this meal and it would help if it was hot (or at least warm). Most of the time guests talk to the couple so much that they barely get to have a couple bites of food before it’s too cold to eat.
I know that this all sounds harsh and you’re probably thinking that I’ve sailed one too many trips on the bitchy boat. And I’m okay with you thinking that. Because I’m here for the bride and for the groom and for their best day ever. If I have prompted you to think about what you might do to increase the happiness of the couple by simply behaving yourself and acting kindly then my job here is done!